


BNHA School Shooter AU

by RiversCuomoFan76



Category: Funny Games (2007), Gantz, ココロコネクト | Kokoro Connect (Anime & Manga), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fat Shaming, M/M, School Shootings, Tentacles, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25824850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiversCuomoFan76/pseuds/RiversCuomoFan76
Summary: Quirkless Izuku is on love with the morbidly obese Asui Tsuyu. She is part of his circle of friends. Said circle of friends are aspiring school shooters. As they prepare for their massacre, strange things happen and feelings make themselves known.
Relationships: Asui Tsuyu/Midoriya Izuku
Kudos: 3





	1. The Beginning

"Darn, what a cuck retard," said Ochako Urarara, the most popular lesbian in school.

Kyoka Ijuri sprang to Izuku's defence.

"You a hoe ass bitch," she said "And your Tiktok fucking blows"

"Didn't ask plus you're straight," said Ochako.

She then did a Tiktok dance while her cronies laughed.

"Goddamn you, foul thot!" said Izuku, "You DARE call ME a cuck when you yourself are cucked by the daddy dick of social expectations!"

"Forsooth! These goth cumsplashes have wounded me!" she said in mock agony.

She and her gaggle of wenches then departed.

"Thank you, Kyoka. You and the other seem to be the only ones who truly care for me. Daily, I am called cuck, retarded, gay homo and sponge bath. Daily, I am waterboarded and given swirlies and why? Because of a SIMPLE GODDAMNED GENETIC DEFECT! MY LIFE IS PAIN! FEW TRULY UNDERSTAND ME!" said Izuku. 

"I know. The life of a quirkless individual is Hell and gay. But we love you. Soon, revenge will be made against those retarded cumboys," said Kyoka.

"Indeed," said Izuku.


	2. Preparation (Inaban gets trolled)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The school shooting is being prepared for and Izuku makes a move on Tsuyu but is rejected. He is also ultimately forced to reject Kyoka, who has loved him since he was a kid. But as the team roll up to the school after informing the relevant parties over snapchat, something really wack sidetracks them.

Izuku's friends were as follows:

\- Kyoka Ijuri: Goth babe and childhood friend who sympathised with Izuku's plight and was the one to form the group. She likes 2000s crunk-core and diamond-encrusted CD cases. She is partially motivated by a rivalry with Ochako Urarara who was the school's most popular lesbian, homecoming queen and always voted Most Likely to Remain Sexy and Marry Rich. With her ear jack thingies, she can listen to your soul and figure out your deepest desires. Only problem is, that involves plunging a jack into the target's neck which they may not survive.

\- Asui Tsuyu: An obese frog girl that had the power to eat anything. She has the strongest digestive system in the world with the most powerful acids such that even steel can be made into an impromptu snack. She was briefly bullied for being friends with Izuku and being the fattest girl in school but she just ate the bullies. She would have gotten expelled if it weren't for the fact that they were junkies and her dad was rich. She likes eating (pretty much anything), arthouse movies, farting and grossing people out. She dislikes Tiktok and Polish people.

\- Mina Ishida: Pink demon. Really dislikes Tsuyu's gross behaviour. Is gaining weight and would really rather not have anything in common with Tsuyu. Secretly loves Izuku. Keeps a picture of Woody Allen underneath her pillow. Can excrete any liquid apart from those that don't exist yet or cannot exist but it comes in the form of sweat and has to be peeled off of her body.

\- Paul from Funny Games: This one's self-explanatory. He's Izuku's guy friend whom he talks to about cumming and sports and Michael Bay and other guy shit.

So, yeah, a pretty WACKY crew if I do say so myself.

Izuku snapped the magazine into the Kalashnikov and hit his Juul. Tsuyu wasn't there yet as she was busy eating delinquents along with any of their possessions/family. 

"So we have the floor plan here." said Izuku, pointing to the PDF on his laptop, "And here are the entrances and exits. While everyone is out for lunch in the mess hall, we grab our duffel bags stored in the abandoned woodworking area. We take our fully prepped weapons and march over to the entrance hallway. From there, we lay waste to the quirkless-hating scumbags. Kyoka can stay back and snipe from afar,"

"Understood," said Kyoka.

Mina was slurping from a Monster Energy as she informed the relevant parties to not come to school tomorrow over Snapchat.

"I should probably cut these out." she said tiredly, "I've been gaining a lot of weight,"

Something beneath Izuku's pants also got chubby.

"You bear it well," said Izuku.

"Thanks for the compliment but I know it's not true," she said.

"Quit being so down on yourself. You look fine. Also, could you excrete some Coca-Cola?"

"What am I, a drinks fountain?"

"No, you're a person that can excrete Coca-Cola,"

She obliged.

"God," she whispered to herself, fanning her face, "I'm sweating like a pig,"

Izuku licked the Coke off of Mina's shoulders.

Then Tsuyu burst into the room, farting and belching all the while. Her gigantic jubblies went goo-goo mode on her big stomach.

"Hey, guys!" she said.

"Hello, Tsuyu!" said Izuku.

Everyone else glared in envy except for Paul who was busy pouring Olive Oil on a salad.

She sat down on a couch, her ginormous ass nearly covering the whole seating area. The couch also creaked a bit.

"Would you like some salad?" said Paul.

"Sure thing! You're so considerate, Paul! Thank you!" replied Tsuyu.

She then lifted (as if it was nothing) one of her gigantic, wobbly arms that were the size of rolled-up mattresses and picked up precisely one leaf of lettuce and a singular tomato to eat.

"I'm afraid I'm only attracted to fat girls, Kyoka. I'm sorry but you don't look like you're gonna die of type two diabetes at age thirty so my dick just doesn't like you. I need a sexual aspect to a relationship and while I do think we'd make a great couple... I can't fuck you,"

"So that's it, Izuku? After all we've been through, after all I've done for you, we can't be together because you have trouble getting an erection to me? Come THE FUCK on!"

"I'm sorry, I wish it was some other way. I truly do,"

"Yeah, well, when Tsuyu gives you AIDS with her disgusting, unwashed, contaminated SNATCH, don't come CRYING to ME!"

"Don't be like that, Kyoka!"

"Like what?"

"Like I choose who I'm attracted to. Be mad at me, but don't take this out on Tsuyu,"

"Fuck you, Izuku,"

"Hey, Tsuyu,"

"What?"

"That looks like some nice cookie dough. You eating all that with a spoon?"

"That all you came here to ask me?"

"No. I was wondering if... you would consider dating me.

Tsuyu pushes out a fart and it smells of Jalapenos and makes Izuku choke.

"So," he said, water in his eyes from multiple sources, "was that fart from surprise or resentment?"

"Surprise, Izuku. You know I admire you greatly,"

"So it's yes?"

"It's a no. I love another. Specifically, Mina. I know she hates me but... she's so cute! I could just crush her between by tree trunk thighs! I could cuddle her and suffocate her with my adipose!"

Izuku wept.

"Goddamnit. I hope you are successful in your endeavour. If you reconsider, you know where I am,"

And so, the relationship of the group was already fraught by the time the fateful day rolled around. Nobody snitched. But as the bitter yet faithful friends and lovers approached the hallway, they were greeted by a unique sight. Tomek Giemza and Inaban making out!

"It's that stupid bitch that keeps hitting guys if they do shit even mildly wrong or even if they don't and just feels like it." said Mina, "No wonder a bitch like that is hanging out with a self-pitying incel,"

She opened fire on Inaban.

"That's for how unjustly you treated your friends, bitch," she said.

"FUCK YOU, POLISH CUNT!!!" screamed Tsuyu as she shotgun blasted Tomek as he tried to run away.

As he died, his last words were "No need to be racist..."

Suddenly, a van crashed through the school gate and activated knock-out gas, sending the foursome to sleep. The aspiring shooters were then transported to a Chinese facility.

Izuku woke up to Paul screaming for help and everyone else hopeless.

"What happened here?" he asked.

"I don't know. Someone kidnapped us," said Mina.

"Well, we maybe shouldn't despair. I'm sure Tsuyu's rich dad will be looking for us,"

"No dice." she said, "He hates me and only saved me from expulsion to salvage his reputation. This also appears to be a professional job. Not much CEO can do against clandestine occult assassins,"

"You're making a bit of an assumption there," said Izuku.

Tsuyu shrugged her shoulders.


	3. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birdo attacks and the whole premise of this fic changes.

Birdo attacked and sent the van back in time into the all new timeline where all the girls were fat corrupt cops and the boys were drug dealers working with the cops.

Meanwhile, YouKnowWhoItIs_WAIFUGANG420XxXxXXx was cracking open a cold one and getting ready to initiate the apocalypse.

Mina was a flabby ass stanky girl mmm mmm yummy yum yum. Basically her and Tsuyu ate all the freakin donuts in the lunch room and were biggy biggy obese. Tsuyu had her frog powers because they were such an integral part of her physicality but Mina was de-powered into a quirkless individual who happened to be a fat cop. All the cops really had to do was save a cat from a tree every now and then while the superheroes were off fighting rapists and muggers. As such, they got fat and addicted to drugs and shit. 

"Yo, where are my freakin' drugs!" yelled Mina through the phone at Izuku the 4chan-loving drug dealer, her stomach grumbling sexily. 

"God, I love being so sexy and obese," she thought to herself.

Izuku did a sick BMX flip over a burning trailer and landed at the now decrepit police station. Tsuyu was busy bullying new recruits and stealing their food. Mina bought the drugs from Izuku but then Jason from Friday the 13th showed up.

Mina shot Jason multiple times but tha tonly slightly injured him. He then teleported away. 

"Shit," said Izuku.

Even such minor physical exertion tired Mina out and caused a pain in her midsection.

"Looks like... we'll have to deal with him ourselves," wheezed Mina.

Izuku sneered. 

Also, he and some other dude were gay for each other in thsi timeline thus justifying the use of the M/M tag.

THE END


End file.
